Aside

Consent, Choice & Bareback Sex

Hey there Guys,

It was more then six months ago that I wrote the article “Can Evil Like This Really Exist” a discussion about the topic of stealth seeding and it’s online advocate Mark Bentson. As noted from his website which I have chosen to not link to to reduce promotion of his twisted logic he quotes:

“A bus could kill me tomorrow. I could die of a million other things, why shouldn’t I experience intimacy I enjoy with a man? …

Everyone of us on this planet is doing stupid shit. We do it because it tastes good, it feels good, it gets us there faster, it makes us feel better, we enjoy life more…

But of all the life-risking things on this list, every single one is ultimately something you’re doing alone. Even if you’re with someone else, they’re not connected to you. There’s a disconnect. There’s no intimacy in a donut at Krispy Kreme.”

So the “naughty’ pleasure of choosing to eat a doughnut, an action that is only likely to harm oneself is no different to potentially infecting another with HIV. Bentson claims that his desire for raw and not always consensual raw sex is about connection, a feeling of intimacy. This is akin to saying that rape is a desperate  “cry for intimacy”. Having been on the receiving end of a male sexual assault I don’t remember it feeling very intimate.

My good mate and fellow blogger Christopher Banks has posted a thought provoking post on the actions of Bentson’s group “The Bareback Brotherhood”. To highlight the vile and shocking nature of the actions of this group Chris has compared the actions of this group to the shock horror “Hostel”. To quote his post “What’s up with the Bareback Brotherhood“:

In the horror film series “Hostel”, men and women pay sums of money for the exclusive pleasure of sadistically torturing, maiming and ultimately killing other human beings, sometimes with graphically sexual overtones.

To become a member of this brotherhood, one must sign a contract, which includes having a logo tattooed on your body to show that you are, to follow the company’s name at the heart of this depravity, an “elite hunter”.

As the cruelty is mercilessly depicted for the viewer, the question of “why” rings as loud in one’s ears as the screams of the victims…

The parallels between the elite hunters and members of the online social network Bareback Brotherhood (or #BBBH as seen on Twitter) are striking.

The brainchild of Mark Bentson, the Bareback Brotherhood is:

“…a social group of men around the globe from all walks of life. We agree on one thing — sex between men without barriers is natural and a legitimate choice…

Fuck more. Fear less. Regret nothing.”

My issue is with the words “legitimate choice”. Legitimate choice for the who? Sounds like the person who’s being raped, who’s being “branded” may not have had nearly as many choices as these people are making out.

Chris goes on to mention how the Bareback Brotherhood in their marketing savvy has created a special rubber wrist band to help identify their “stealthy brothers”. Good news for us is that it works both ways. We can use it to identify people who may well carry significant indifference to the care and welfare of those they have sex with.

Perhaps the model from Hostel may have been a better choice. A permanent tattoo for everyone to see. A permanent mark that allows people who find the idea of non consensual sex abhorrent to identify those who don’t.

A rubber wrist band is easily taken off but I suppose it’s at least one step easier to know who to avoid.

In the mean time I would like to repeat the message I mentioned in my first post about this so called brotherhood.

If you decide you are going to have anal with a guy you don’t know well, be sure the condom is not sabotaged. The only way to be sure of this is to consider the following:

  • You need to supply the condom
  • You need to supply the compatible water or silicone based lube to go with the condom
  • You need to put the condom onto his cock and control the condom until it’s in your ass
  • You need to check the condom on a regular basis. If you are worried the condom has changed in some way use a line like “we’ve been going for a while, let’s change the condom over”
  • You need to remove and check the condom after the session

Actions like going bareback and telling the top “don’t come inside” mean nothing. It’s not safe, and from what the discussed blogger has said, he knows perfectly well how to silently cum and then pretend to shoot minutes after he’s already done his deed.

Look after each other, most importantly look after yourself. Not everyone out there is going to have your best interests in mind.

Yours in good health.

Dr George

For Christopher Bank’s full post you can check it out here:
http://bipolarbear.co.nz/2012/06/07/whats-up-with-the-bareback-brotherhood/

 

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