facebook bully

Is Facebook Driving Us Crazy?

Hey there Guys. Today I am proud to share an article by a good mate Grant. I’m sure we all have our “moments” when using Facebook, but if participating is causing you stress Grant’s advice may just help you to take a step back and close down your computer for the night.

I’ll leave you in Grant’s capable hands.

Help! I’ve just been unfriended on Facebook and I don’t know what to do!

I’VE BEEN UNFRIENDED ON FACEBOOK, IS THAT AN ACT OF WAR?

I always find it interesting watching people’s reactions to being ‘unfriended’ or ‘blocked’ on Facebook. It ranges from ‘meh’ to ‘oh my god this is war’. In thinking about it I consider my Facebook page like my house when I am having a party.

WHO IS ON THE INVITATION LIST?

FAMILY – They have an almost implied right to be there. If I feel the need to un-invite them from my party (or ban them from the house altogether) they probably deserve some explanation if the reason isn’t immediately self-evident.

CLOSE FRIENDS – They are the family I choose to have in my life. Much like my family they deserve some explanation if I feel the need to retract their invitation.

FRIENDS OF MY FRIENDS – I trust that my friends will only bring people to my party who they think I might like. Sometimes they get it wrong though. If I choose to withdraw their invitation I really don’t owe them any explanation but I may choose to explain myself to my friend (but I might not).

RANDOMS – People who somehow heard that there is a part at my place and that it’s pretty cool. If I choose not to let them in or ask them to leave once they have gotten inside I don’t owe them any explanation.

WHAT WILL GET YOU KICKED OUT?:

BEING LOUD – Ramming your point of view down the throats of all my other guests will get you kicked out of the party. Lively debate is cool, cyber-bullying and troll behaviour isn’t. No one likes this sort of party guest, getting rid of you is to the benefit of all of my other guests.

ATTACKING MY FRIENDS – Once again; have a lively debate but make it personal, hurtful or offensive and you are outta there!

WEIRD BEHAVIOUR TO BE AVOIDED:

HAVING OTHERS IN THE PARTY REPORT – This is the same as having your friends reporting to you via text message from inside the party. It belittles you and the person you are having spy for you. What are you 12? This isn’t primary school and you should have more going on in your life to be bothered with this.

SPAMMING – Attempting to spam someone’s Facebook is like being the loser out the front throwing eggs at the house. Once again, are you in primary school?

USING ANOTHER IDENTITY – You have become the creepy guy in the trench coat, fake moustache and broad brimmed hat. Is that a good look for you? I think not.

YOU CAN GO TOO FAR:

Many places (including Victoria Australia where I am from) either have or are developing legislation to address antisocial and damaging behaviours in social media environments. It is illegal in Victoria to seriously bully someone and this can be applied within cyberspace. Remember if you like being a ‘troll’ that sometimes trolls end up in dungeons. Continue the behaviour at your own peril.

SO WHAT?:

Next time you are unfriended or blocked by someone on Facebook think about why it may have happened. Sometimes people just decide it’s time to clear some of the random houseguests out. It’s not meant to be a slight on you, it’s just good housekeeping and I’m sure that we have all done the ‘random cull’ before.

Think about what sort of guest you are for that person (family, friend, friend of friends or a random). Unless you are family or close friend you don’t deserve an explanation, they may choose to give you one but it’s really not your right.

Even if you aren’t happy with why you aren’t able to join the party anymore, take a deep breath and move on the next party, there are plenty around. No one wants to fight you, no one wants to feel bad or sad or uncomfortable. Remember that YOU have the right to remove people from your house so why can’t they?

Grant Taylor

Thanks Grant for your great insight.

Please feel free to share your thoughts on Grant’s post in the comments below.

Yours in good health.

Dr George

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