Aside

What Are Your Thoughts On Oral Sex?

Hey there Guys,

Today I had an interesting conversation with a mate on the topic of safe sex and in particular safe oral sex. Oral sex has always been a difficult topic with regards to safe sex as HIV research has not been able to formally define it’s potential risk.

Yes, it’s understood that oral sex is less risky then unprotected anal sex. We also understand that there are certain factors that increase risk such as sores and infections in the mouth, whether the person that you are giving head to cums in your mouth, whether or not there is precum present.

Within the HIV education materials “low risk but not no risk” is frequently quoted. So how does this “low risk” cross over to real life?

When I first became sexually active I was happy to give my partner oral without a condom, however I would not let him cum into my mouth. Years later I started going to a sex on premise venue every now and then and there is was my preference to only give oral sex if there was a condom on the cock. Over time I stopped using condoms for oral but I’ve always had the rule to avoid cum in my mouth.

My main reason for this is worry. I’m not sure if it’s a medical thing or just me but I tend to be more on the anxious side of the spectrum. Cum in my mouth seems to start a cascade of concerns about if there had been any cuts in my mouth or inflammation around my gums. For me in that situation the low risk vs no risk doesn’t really help quell that voice of concern that creep in after I’ve had cum in my  mouth. Thus to avoid this situation I prefer to not have cum in my mouth.

Certainly within the gay community where I live there are many people who are happy to allow their partners to ejaculate in their mouths. I am usually pretty careful to make it clear that I am about to cum and if the person wishes to continue having me shoot in their mouth then I am happy to accept their choice.

I often wonder if this is the right thing to do. One thing I have learned in medicine it’s that people have the right to make their own decisions and don’t like it if that choice is taken away.

The Victorian Aids Council has the following information on safe oral sex:

Tips for safer oral sex

  • Avoid brushing or flossing your teeth before oral sex to reduce the chance of causing mouth cuts and abrasions.
  • Rinse or gargle with salty water, mouthwash or alcohol to see if you have cuts in your mouth.
  • Avoid cum in the mouth. If your partner cums in the front of your mouth, spit it out. If they come in the back of your mouth, swallow it.
  • Suck with a (flavoured) condom on your partner’s penis.
  • Use a square of latex from a condom for anilingus or anal rimming
  • Use dental dams or sheets of clear plastic food wrap for oral vaginal sex (not the type used in microwave ovens is because it contains tiny holes through which the virus can pass).

Many of the websites based in the USA state that the only safe way to have oral sex is with a condom from start to finish.

As with all things in life, what we are told to do and what we actually do can be two very different things. Today I wanted to ask the question, what are your thoughts on oral sex?

Does oral sex cause concerns to you with regards to HIV and other potential infections?

What decisions have you made about oral sex? Do you use condoms? Are you happy to allow cum into your mouth?

Guys I’d really love to hear your thoughts. This has always been a difficult area when it comes to safe sex, I’d love it if you would share with a comment below.

Yours in awesome health!

Dr George Photo Cred: Djuliet

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