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The Healthy Bear

The Healthy Bear

The ultimate guide to gay men's health for bears.

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Safe Cruising Tips

CRUISING TIPS

These are a useful guide to what to expect if you are not familiar with a venue.

EYE CONTACT

This is not necessarily a come-on.  Remember this is a cruise club so patrons will look at you while cruising and deciding what they want to do.

However, extended eye contact probably means that he is interested or has a lot of trouble focusing in which case you might want to check that he is not drunk or drug affected.

The same eye contact several times is usually a good indication, but look for body language as well.

FOLLOW HIM

If you want him do not play hard to get.  This is a cruise club not a night club.  If you follow him and he waits in a cubicle or by a cubicle door then you are probably on.  So hang about or make a move yourself.

DON’T BE SHY

Some shy types will let you follow them to a more open area but will still not make a move.  Use eye contact or body language to let them know that you are interested.  Remember, however, they may have led you to a more lit area to check you out better.  Do not assume any commitment yet.  Of course, if you are both shy remember that you could follow each other around for hours.  If one of you doesn’t make a move you might both miss out.

The best strategy in these situations is to wait by a cubicle door and as he approaches just walk in and hopefully he will follow.  If he doesn’t no-one gets embarrassed as only you know what you were hoping for.  But don’t give up straight away.  Give him a chance to try the same tactic in case he is shyer than you.  Then you can follow him into a cubicle.

WARM UPS

Remember some patrons use the glory holes, if there are any in the venue you are in, simply as a warm up so don’t get upset if they zip up and leave.  Just enjoy what you have had and move on yourself.

CHANGING YOUR MIND

Do not be afraid to not continue when you are in a cubicle.  Sometimes it is just not what you expected after all.  If it is not working for you then it is probably not working for him either.  Be polite.  Say thanks but no thanks and leave.  Do not take offence if he does that to you.

Remember this is a cruise club.  You have not gone back to his place so there is no big commitment.  There is not need to leave the club if this happens.  If you feel embarrassed there is really no need.  Chill out with a cup of coffee and try again with someone else.  You may end up having a wonderful time.

With thanks to Ten Plus                                                                                    14.7.06
This information provided with thanks by the South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault

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